Welcome to day 15 of Tag Sale Tastes’ Pumpkinpalooza 2020!

Meet H-E-B Pumpkin Flavored Muffin Bars:

No pumpkins on the package, but there is a nice fat acorn:

These claim to be a “soft baked pumpkin flavored muffin bar with a yogurt flavored drizzle, filled with cream cheese filling”:

This product is very proud of itself, proclaiming that “muffin lovers can rejoice,” and “your taste buds will thank you”:

The ingredients, which are nearly impossible to read, include pumpkin powder and spices (as well as numerous “gummy” ingredients):

Each “muffin bar” comes individually wrapped:

And here it is, in its orange glory, cracked yogurt-flavored stripes and all:

View of the interior:

Let me start by saying there is no such thing as a “muffin bar.”  A muffin is defined as “a quick bread made of batter containing egg and baked in a pan having cuplike molds.”  If you bake quick bread batter in a muffin tin, it’s a muffin, and it has a top and a stump. If you bake it in a loaf pan, it’s a bread.  If you bake it in an 8″ x 8″ pan it’s a cake, and if you cut that cake into squares or rectangles to serve, it’s still cake, not muffin bars.  So I’m calling foul on “muffin bars.”

But even if there were such a thing as muffin bars, these were not it.  The texture was odd — simultaneously gummy and dry, and definitely not cake-like.  The flavor was vaguely vegetal with mild spice in the background.  The cream cheese filling was OK, but there was not enough of it to compensate for the crimes of the cake.  I promise you, muffin lovers will not be rejoicing over these, and your taste buds will be very disappointed in you.

Rating: 1-1/2 pumpkins (out of 5)